'Every Inch Counts,' Says Canadian Store Set to Feature 7-inch Penis-Shaped Waffles

Thursday April 28, 2022
Originally published on April 28, 2022

What looks like a story from The Onion is actually real, and maybe the best way to satisfy being horny and having a sweet tooth.

"Don't get too aroused, because the global penis-waffle trend is coming to Richmond," reports the British Columbian website Richmond News.

"The store, 7-Inch Waffle House, is set to soft open behind Richmond's Costco, at 9111 Beckwith Rd., in early May and will feature phallus- and vulva-shaped waffles dipped in chocolate and toppings.

"Each penis-shaped waffle is said to measure seven inches long and the store is taking the chance to remind everyone with its overall message that 'every inch counts.' "

A spokesperson for 7-Inch Waffle House told the Richmond News that the waffles will be made with buttermilk "with a thick girth dipped" in various flavors. There will be milk chocolate, white chocolate and matcha chocolate dipping with kinky names to boot such as "creamy cum" and "BDSM."

The toppings include crushed Oreo, flaked coconut, crushed nuts and sprinkles are also on the menu.

"While penis-shaped waffles will only be offered during the soft opening, the eatery will expand its menu to offer vulva waffles later on," adds Richmond News.

According to 7-Inch Waffle House, the store will be decorated like a "pink enchanted forest with a sophisticated feel to it."

The waffle house aims to open during the first week of May and will eventually open seven days a week.

For more info, visit the 7-Inch Waffle House IG page.